She who has never loved has never lived.
John Gay
This man, she reasons, as she looks at her husband, is a poor fish. But he is the nearest I can get to the big one that got away.
Nigel Dennis
He that loves not his wife and children feeds a lioness at home and broods a nest of sorrows.
Jeremy Taylor
A woman must marry the man who loves her but never the one she loves; that is the secret of lasting happiness.
Mariama Bâ
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
Stephen Leacock
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.
Jane Austen
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
A woman dictates before marriage in order that she may have an appetite for submission afterwards.
George Eliot
Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love.
Ellen Key
And love's the noblest frailty of the mind.
John Dryden
Love comes from blindness, friendship from knowledge.
Bussy-Rabutin
About Me
- 'yoma
- lagos, lagos, Nigeria
- i'm fun-loving, charismatic, i love the company of people and making things happen through those associations, i am really 'crazy' sometimes, i try(unsuccessfully) to hold back sometimes when im having fun..and i am an incurable optimist. i believe in mind power...things happen in the intangible realm before they find tangibility. that's why i believe in-NIGERIA!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
The Art Of Kissing by David Leonhardt
Energizing. Practical. Inspiring. Discover the 9 habits that can change your life! Every now and then a quarrel breaks out
down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood
stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?
Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say
"football", too...but they mean "soccer".)
I say: "kissing". Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.
ATTENTION: If bad breath (yours or your partner's) makes you uncomfortable kissing, you need The Bad Breath Report
Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about
any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss
while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded
kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this!", and even the Florida town of Kissimmee (founded, no doubt, by early Italian
pioneer kissers).
The Art of Kissing Is Easy
Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom,
in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.
Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even
when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial
groupies.
Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last
oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?
Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most earth-bound countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be
legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.
Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.
Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.
Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano. Even so, kissing is still safe,
as long as you do not use your mouth.
Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths
busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or
b) induce diabetes. (Read the headline: "Kissing prevents diabetes")
Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious
ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.
Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?
You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your veterinarian, the Prime Minister of the Duchy
of Grand Fenwick and your pet aardvark. Don't try kissing them all at the same time, though...especially not your boyfriend
and your wife.
Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a
tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces. But a quick call for a AAA tow truck fixes that problem
(CAA in Canada, AA in the UK, the local plumber in France)
Extreme Kissing NOT Recommended
The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other
spectators who somehow get past security and storm onto the playing field like that well-dressed gentleman at the
Superbowl.
We do NOT recommend "extreme kissing". For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't
kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don't kiss any
electrical outlets, or you'll look like this.
Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don't kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs.
It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss a chainsaw; we feel this one is self-explanatory. And don't
kiss your office manager while on duty...unless you happen to be a work-from-home hermit like me.
But overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football and soccer seem like bush league sports.
Next time you hear a brawl at your local barbershop, just go in and give everyone a kiss.
I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with.
down at the barber shop, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood
stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?
Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say
"football", too...but they mean "soccer".)
I say: "kissing". Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.
ATTENTION: If bad breath (yours or your partner's) makes you uncomfortable kissing, you need The Bad Breath Report
Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about
any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss
while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded
kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this!", and even the Florida town of Kissimmee (founded, no doubt, by early Italian
pioneer kissers).
The Art of Kissing Is Easy
Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom,
in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.
Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even
when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial
groupies.
Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-booooring meeting that seems to last
oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?
Kissing is legal in all 50 states and most earth-bound countries. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be
legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.
Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.
Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.
Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Drano. Even so, kissing is still safe,
as long as you do not use your mouth.
Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths
busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or
b) induce diabetes. (Read the headline: "Kissing prevents diabetes")
Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious
ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.
Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?
You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your veterinarian, the Prime Minister of the Duchy
of Grand Fenwick and your pet aardvark. Don't try kissing them all at the same time, though...especially not your boyfriend
and your wife.
Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a
tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces. But a quick call for a AAA tow truck fixes that problem
(CAA in Canada, AA in the UK, the local plumber in France)
Extreme Kissing NOT Recommended
The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other
spectators who somehow get past security and storm onto the playing field like that well-dressed gentleman at the
Superbowl.
We do NOT recommend "extreme kissing". For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't
kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don't kiss any
electrical outlets, or you'll look like this.
Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don't kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs.
It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss a chainsaw; we feel this one is self-explanatory. And don't
kiss your office manager while on duty...unless you happen to be a work-from-home hermit like me.
But overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football and soccer seem like bush league sports.
Next time you hear a brawl at your local barbershop, just go in and give everyone a kiss.
I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with.
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS SHEET
ELEMENT : Women
SYMBOL : Wo
DISCOVERER : Adam
ATOMIC MASS : Accepted at 53.6kg but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES : Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
• Surface usually covered in painted film
• Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason
• Melts if given special treatment
• Bitter if incorrectly used
• Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
• Yields if pressure is applied in correct places
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
• Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones
• Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
• Insoluble in liquids but actively greatly in saturation of alcohol
• Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
• Highly ornamental especially in sports car
• Can be a great aid to relaxation
COMMON USES
• Very effective cleaning agent
• Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
• Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
HAZARDS : highly dangerous except in experienced hands
(Culled from http://www.jesussite.com/jokes)
SYMBOL : Wo
DISCOVERER : Adam
ATOMIC MASS : Accepted at 53.6kg but known to vary from 40-200kg
OCCURRENCES : Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES
• Surface usually covered in painted film
• Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason
• Melts if given special treatment
• Bitter if incorrectly used
• Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
• Yields if pressure is applied in correct places
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES
• Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones
• Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
• Insoluble in liquids but actively greatly in saturation of alcohol
• Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
• Highly ornamental especially in sports car
• Can be a great aid to relaxation
COMMON USES
• Very effective cleaning agent
• Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
• Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
HAZARDS : highly dangerous except in experienced hands
(Culled from http://www.jesussite.com/jokes)
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